GoGang: Spring Break Spectacular
is a GoGang episode. Plot The GoGang decide to book a flight to Hawaii for their spring break vacation. Along the way, they encounter dangers, both natural and mental. Cast *Jenell Slack-Wilson as Sophie *Andrew Rannells as Insecurity, himself, Pilot and Tour Guide *Josh Peck as TGB1 *Steve Blum as Lemon Trivia *Insecurity putting on water wings and a green inflatable duck is a reference to said items from Club Penguin. Transcript (After the theme song, it immediately cuts to footage of heavy traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge) Andrew: LET'S GO! (honks his horn and then recognizes the audience) Hey, kids. Rush hour traffic here in the Brooklyn Bridge is really bad. (grunts) A little music should soothe me jangled nerves. Good thing my in-dash hi-fi still works. (Andrew puts a cassette in his radio even though cassettes died out decades ago. The tape conveniently breaks down and the music stops playing) Andrew: Goddammit! My ultra-rare Frampton Comes Alive 8-track, DESTROYED! (throws it to the road, where it gets run over by a car) AND I'M GONNA MISS THE NEW GOGANG IF THIS TRAFFIC DOESN'T MOVE SOON! (starts crying) (Suddenly, his phone rings, and his ringtone happens to be the last few notes for the GoGang theme) Andrew: Who's calling? (picks it up) Yes, Andrew Rannells here, start barking. (Cuts to Jacob lying on a bed) Jacob: Hey, Andrew, the new GoGang cartoon is about to start. Where are ya? (barks) Andrew: Stuck on the Brooklyn Bridge. Hey, be a dear and record it for me, will ya? Jacob: Oh, I threw that old Betamax machine in the garbage. (barks) Andrew: YOU WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!!? Jacob: Oh, calm down, you dirty stuck-up sadistic shit-eating, cocksucking, buttfucking, penis-smelling, crotch-grabbing, ball-licking, semen-drinking, dog-raping, Nazi-loving, child-touching, cow-humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse face, sheep-fondling, toilet-kissing, self-centered, feces-puking, dildo-shoving, snot-spitting, crap-gathering, big-nosed, monkey-slapping, bastard-screwing, bean-shitting, fart-knocking, sack-busting, splooge-tasting, bear-blowing, head-swallowing, bitch-snatching, handjobbing, donkey-caressing, mucus-spewing, anal-plugging, hoe-grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer-sipping, whore mongering, piss-swimming, midget-munching, douchebag, hole-biting, carnivorous, mail-order prostituting asshole. Andrew: Jacob, you know how important this cartoon is to me! (Suddenly, a man behind him starts honking, and this ultimately pisses him off) Andrew: DO YOU MIND?! I AM TRYING TO TALK TO MY DOG!!!!! (The man is visibly creeped out) Andrew: Sorry, Jacob, that was just some land lubber. (Jacob hangs up like an asshole) Andrew: Jacob? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? (looks at his phone, which is displaying a "No Signal" message even though it's 2019) Goddammit, dropped again! (closes his flip phone even though it's, again, 2019) FUCK THIS TRAFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!! (The traffic finally starts moving, so Andrew takes out an anchor that is bigger than the chances of "They did surgery on a grape" memes being funny. Eventually he drives into a desert even though New York looked fine just a second ago) Andrew: Ah! Home at last! (notices his surroundings and gasps) What the-?! (eyes bug out) (Camera pans out to reveal the desert-like area) Andrew: Flushing... it's gone... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Andrew falls to the floor and starts crying) Andrew: You know, kids, this reminds Andrew of an old story. Another story of a lost city. Why don't you go check it out? (cries) Oh, Flushing! (Title card) a slow day at the GoGang HQ as usual Sophie: Well, this blows. We haven't heard a word from the StopSociety, and since we haven't been going on missions, it's really putting a mark on our reputation! We're supposed to be saving the world, not slouching around! Insecurity: I'm getting paid overtime for this, right? Sophie: I guess if the StopSociety hasn't been bothering us, we should try to do something fun. But what kind of fun? Insecurity: (sighs) How many times do I have to tell you this: You never give us any off days, so why don't you give us a vacation? Sophie: SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm trying to think here! (gets an idea) Oh! I just realized! I never give you guys any off days, so why don't I give us a vacation? Insecurity: La la, la la la la la la, la la la la. Sophie: I take it that you would be interested in vacationing to Sydney? Insecurity: NO! I don't want to die from a spider bite! Sophie: Oh. Well, where should go, then? TGB1: Well, you did want to force us into a private jet to Hawaii last week. You booked it the other day. (We hear a cartoony whistle sound, and then a jet falls on the goddamn HQ, which demolishes it to smithereens) TGB1: (muffled) And it looks like it arrived just in time. (Camera transitions to the gang entering the jet, who are all fine and well as if nothing happened) Lemon: Wait, Sophie, how did you pay for this jet? I mean, it has a recliner with built-in toilets, and golden 4K TVs and everything. Sophie: I used Insecurity's life savings. Insecurity: What the fuck?! Sophie: Oops, I mean- (Insecurity chases Sophie with an oversized fish, and Sophie screams like a little girl) (Meanwhile, the gang is in the jet. We see the pilot in the control room) Pilot: It's getting warm in here, perhaps I should turn on the air conditioning? (The pilot pushes a button, only to realize it opens of the windows. On one of the screens, we see Sophie sitting in her chair. Suddenly, the window next to her opens and she gets sucked out. The pilot's eyes widen) Pilot: (calms down in a nanosecond) Eh, she'll be fine. (Later, we see TGB1 jacking off, Lemon sleeping, and Sophie sending death threats on her iPad. Suddenly, the intercom goes off) Pilot: (on the intercom) We will be experiencing a series of turbulence, please remain seated. (Unfortunately, Insecurity is taking a shit in the bathroom) Insecurity: Wait, what?! (The jet goes out of control, and everybody screams. TGB1's skeleton comes out from his mouth, Lemon falls down to the ceiling, and Sophie gets crushed to death by loads of luggage. In the bathroom, Insecurity tries to get out. He quickly tries to wipe, but he gets soaked by all of his shit, and he screams bloody murder) (The door opens, and Insecurity falls out from it. He still doesn't have any pants on, and we see wet shit all over him) Insecurity: Great. Everybody on DeviantART is gonna drool over this. (Later, everything is back to normal as if nothing happened) Pilot: (on the intercom) Folks, we will be landing in Honolulu in approximately two minutes. (we hear an error sound) Oops! Forgot to fix the engine in time for landing. (Suddenly, the plane starts smoking, and everybody screams. Midway through, they stop) Lemon: Hey, look, it's Hawaii! (Everybody is amazed at the view, and they return to screaming) (The plane lands in a volcano, and it erupts. The remains land in the middle of a beach, and all the beach goers take off screaming) Sophie: Look, gang! We're in Hawaii! Insecurity: And now I'm gonna stay as far away from you as inhumanly possible. (tries to take off, but Sophie grabs him by the collar) Sophie: Nope, you're not going anywhere. I booked a hotel room for all four of us. (Camera cuts to the hotel's sign. We see that it's a shitty 1-star hotel. The gang arrives in their dirty, cockroach-ridden room) Lemon: Seriously? You can afford a private jet AND a vacation to Hawaii, but not a better room, at a better hotel? Sophie: Well, it'll save us money. Plus, it's not like we'll be spending much time in a hotel room. (Lemon facepalms) Sophie: Why don't we spend some time at the hotel's pool? It'll help us get a load off. (Cut to the hotel's "swimming pool", which is more of a shallow waste dump than an actual pool, as it has murky shallow water. The gang, except for Insecurity, is swimming in it) Sophie: Insecurity! Come on! Jump in! (Insecurity has shitloads of food in his arms) Insecurity: I can't, Sophie, I just ate. I'll cramp up, see? (barely sticks his toe into the shallow water and immediately cramps up, resulting in cringy bone-crunching noises) AAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW MY CRAMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sophie: (holding a gun) Get in here before I drown you. Insecurity: (grunts) Fine. (he puts on water wings and a green inflatable duck and jumps in) Sophie: So, are you all feeling excited about this trip? Lemon: I'm feeling a warm spot. Sophie: Sorry. (Camera immediately cuts to the gang on a tour around a volcano) Tour Guide: This here is Mount Idontwannadiepleasesparememistervolcano! Such a remarkable sight, ain't it? It hasn't erupted in over 69,420 years, so be sure to value this precious moment. (Suddenly, an earthquake occurs and the volcano erupts. Sophie takes pictures on her outdated iPhone) (The giant wave of lava ends up hitting Insecurity, who screams bloody murder. He dies as if he were in Lethal Lava Land) (The camera irises out with the shape of Bowser's head. Bowser laughs at his demise) (Eventually, he gets booted out of a painting in the hotel) Sophie: Oh, Insecurity, it's about time you returned! We're going to try Hawaiian food. (Camera cuts to a restaurant called Shark Tooth, which actually looks like a shark, with the interior resembling its body and guts) (We see Andrew still stranded in the middle of nowhere, stuck in his outdated car from the 1920s) Andrew: Welp, bad news, kids. Flushing is still lost. (the radio starts playing, and it plays a rap song about drugs and killing people) Ooh! But at least I got my radio fixed! (Andrew snaps his fingers to the rhythm of the song, but then the radio explodes for no reason, just like how Michael Bay would want it) Andrew: (disappointed) Well, enjoy the rest of the show. (After commercial break, we see Andrew again. The middle of nowhere has suddenly turned into a desert. Andrew is holding a canteen he has never had before. He tries to push some water out of it, but there is no more) Andrew: This is the end of Andrew. No water, no food, and still no Flushing! And here comes the vultures to pick my bones! (Jacob pops out of nowhere) Andrew: HOLY SHIT! IT'S JACOB! I wonder what dogs taste like! Those Asian stereotypes better be true! (Jacob runs faster than a bullet) Andrew: COME BACK! (Suddenly, Andrew now looks like he's taking a wet shit) Andrew: Uh oh, here come the hallucinations. (shakes heavily) (We can hear TGB1 laughing from the distance, and a cheap CG model of the GoGang HQ appears. A man poorly dressed as TGB1 walks through the walls of it like a ghost) TGB1: Andrew! It's me, thegoldenbrick1! Andrew: (smiles and laughs) TGB1! (immediately becomes depressed and starts crying) TGB1: Don't lose hope. Everything will be alright when you get to Flushing. Andrew: But, Flushing, (sobs) it's gone! TGB1: It's not gone if you, (produces an LSD-induced rainbow with his bare hands) believe! (The man poorly dressed as TGB1 disappears from existence, and the LSD causes Andrew to hallucinate being in Flushing) Andrew: Believe. (x50) (Andrew falls asleep from the acid, and we see a "Welcome to Flushing" sign that's conveniently located in the middle of a goddamn park, of all places) Andrew: (gasps) "WELCOME TO FLUSHING"! IT'S BACK! TGB1 was right! All I had to do was believe! (hugs the sign) (We see a montage of Andrew acting like a retard all across Flushing-Meadows Corona Park. He hides underneath the bench, does a stunt on it before falling and bleeding, and then he runs fast due to needing to take a shit. Then, we see him having a picnic by himself, just like an average social outcast. He opens a picnic basket that he stole from Yogi Bear, and he eats an apple in a suggestive manner. Yogi Bear then pokes Andrew's shoulder and he beats the shit out of him) (Andrew hops around like an autistic kid, and he starts levitating like a retarded Superman. We see him playing volleyball with a kid, but then the kid throws back a watermelon and it lands on Andrew's nuts, thus resulting in a cringy bone-crunching noise) Andrew: Sss...ahh... (x50) (Andrew spins across the park, but then he vomits from motion sickness. He runs around while holding onto his ass) (Andrew places a flag on the grave of the park owner. He plays the guitar horribly in front of a married couple, and then the woman beats him up for being a pedophile) (He eats an ice cream cone that he robbed a Dairy Queen for, but then it spills to the ground. He stares at it like a kid with ADHD) (Cut back to reality, where Jacob is mauling Andrew) Andrew: OW! OW! OW! FUCK! (wakes up) Goddammit, it was all just a hallucination. Flushing's still gone! (cries hard) (Jacob is holding a plate with his mouth) Andrew: (gasp) Oh my god, a sandwich! Jacob, you're a life saver! (opens the sandwich) GODDAMMIT, JACOB!!!!! YOU KNOW I FUCKING HATE MAYO!!!!!!!! (A vulture flies in so it can take a shit on the rock) Andrew: Here, you want some? (The vulture doesn't reply, since it just wants to shit in peace) Andrew: Go on! Take it! You know, I don't like the mayonnaise, ya know. When it gets above 130 or 135, it gets kinda grody- (The vulture has finally had enough of Andrew's shit (no pun intended) and it brutally mauls him) (Cut back to the middle of nowhere, where it's suddenly no longer a desert. Andrew has magically recovered from his wounds) Andrew: Pretty good story, eh, kids? (He steps on something, and it turns out to be Flushing) Andrew: It's Flushing! But it's all tiny. Someone must have- (We see a beam brighter than my future. Andrew freaks out as we see aliens that look like rejected Muppet characters) Norbluckfive's Mom: Sorry, sir, our son Norbluckfive was messing with his Shrink-a-Tron again. Andrew: Who the fuck names their kid Norbluckfive? Norbluckfive's Mom: What? Andrew: I said, NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT FLUSHING FULL SIZE AGAIN! (Andrew starts stomping) Andrew: THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!!! (x100) Norbluckfive's Mom: Ok, hand it over, Norbluckfive. (We see a disturbing closeup of Norbluckfive pulling the remote from his anus, and alien jizz comes out of it. Andrew flinches) Norbluckfive's Mom: We'll fix your town, you dirty stuck-up sadistic shit-eating, cocksucking, buttfucking, penis-smelling, crotch-grabbing, ball-licking, semen-drinking, dog-raping, Nazi-loving, child-touching, cow-humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse face, sheep-fondling, toilet-kissing, self-centered, feces-puking, dildo-shoving, snot-spitting, crap-gathering, big-nosed, monkey-slapping, bastard-screwing, bean-shitting, fart-knocking, sack-busting, splooge-tasting, bear-blowing, head-swallowing, bitch-snatching, handjobbing, donkey-caressing, mucus-spewing, anal-plugging, hoe-grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer-sipping, whore mongering, piss-swimming, midget-munching, douchebag, hole-biting, carnivorous, mail-order prostituting asshole. Andrew: Dirty stuck-up sadistic shit-eating, cocksucking, buttfucking, penis-smelling, crotch-grabbing, ball-licking, semen-drinking, dog-raping, Nazi-loving, child-touching, cow-humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse face, sheep-fondling, toilet-kissing, self-centered, feces-puking, dildo-shoving, snot-spitting, crap-gathering, big-nosed, monkey-slapping, bastard-screwing, bean-shitting, fart-knocking, sack-busting, splooge-tasting, bear-blowing, head-swallowing, bitch-snatching, handjobbing, donkey-caressing, mucus-spewing, anal-plugging, hoe-grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer-sipping, whore mongering, piss-swimming, midget-munching, douchebag, hole-biting, carnivorous, mail-order prostituting asshole? (Once the button is pushed, it causes a huge tornado, and Andrew gets shrunken into Flushing. He screams as we see other stuff in the tornado, such as a cow, an old man taking a bath, a tree, the Twin Towers, etc) (Camera casually cuts to Andrew's apartment. He's peacefully watching the ending of the new GoGang episode) Andrew: Well, looks like everything's back to the right size, eh, Jacob? (beat) Jacob? (shrugs) Jacob: (low-pitched bark) (Jacob's foot crashes through the ceiling, and Andrew screams. He gets crushed and starts dying slowly) Andrew: Well, kids, I'm a little busy right now, but be sure to come back real soon for your old pal, Andrew! (CRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH) (In the background, we can hear TGB1's alarm going off, and TGB1 laughs at Andrew's demise) Andrew: OW! And more GoGang. (struggles to get out) Jacob, will you get off me?! (All of Andrew's bones in his body break, and he dies) (Episode ends) Category:GoGang productions